Practically a graduate ^_^
Journal Entry: Sat May 17, 2008, 6:47 AM- Mood:
Sweet - Listening to: Disney songs *blushes*
- Reading: Dune
- Watching: Veronica Mars
- Playing: *cheerful nod*
- Eating: Fairtrade organic milk chocolate.
- Drinking: Licorice Yogi tea... mmm.
Hello world.
Yesterday I handed all my work in. University [BA(Hons) Graphic Design] is over. Three major design projects and quite a few thousand words are on their way to be graded, and the results look good from here... My teachers congratulated me, and I'm very satisfied with my design outcomes. I enjoyed this semester immensly - even though I only realized it towards the end. My interest in design was rekindled, I've grown a lot through the process, my self-confidence was boosted, and I managed to combine design with personal expression for the first time. I am proud of myself indeed, and there is also the added bonus of making the people who love me happy. There is something wonderful about having completed one more step.
And the above are not the only good news around! I'm flying to Holland on Monday [I've been flying to Holland quite a lot during this semester since ~themonosandal lives and studies there as you probably already know if you have read my older journals], but this time it is for good. I'm moving there, as planned. We're starting house-hunting after Tuesday [~themonosandal is playing in a big concert which he has organized, and it's on Tuesday, so there's no way we'll start before that]. Everything seems to be in its proper place... Life is treating me more than well since June, it's almost a year now, I am thankful for every day, I'm happy, it's a fantastic, non-idle happiness that helps me grow as a person.
I'll be applying for an MA [in History of Art, specializing in late medieval and renaissance times] in Holland, soon. I also hope to study singing simultaneously [not while I'm applying, while I'm on the MA
], again according to plan. And then there's freelancing; I hope to find a couple of clients there. I guess I don't need to mention that after we find a place, and before the new academic year starts, holidays await! Athens, Thessaloniki, Chalkidiki, Samothraki, Italy [Venice], Pelion [for a singing masterclass] are all on the list.
I wish you the best of luck [mine, for example
]!
.Travellers.
[
- =Rikochet - =lordceleborn - ~Rhapsody88 - ~Bluthan - ~ianos7 - ~Homocentric - ~AmorInvictus - ~Mortuelle - ~kosmik-kyber - ~sebastardian - =Robsonnet - ~zebrazebrazebra - ~saturnineguise - ~ThePookaWay ]~
[Sola fide.]
Climbing on the dangling earrings of the stars
Journal Entry: Thu Feb 7, 2008, 10:57 AM- Mood: Sweet
- Listening to: BWV 110 [T. Koopman's take]
- Reading: Just finished Carol Berg's "Soul Weaver"
- Watching: Buffy, second time over.
- Playing: *cheerful nod*
- Eating: That would be pleasant.
- Drinking: I'm coffee girl these days.
Hello world.
Happiness makes people [well, at least me] disappear. My father always told my mother not to worry when I did not call. "You need not worry, she's fine; when she's not calling, it means she's having a great time."
It also seems to be quite the writer's block spell for many poets, but thankfully I'm not one of them. So, I didn't stop writing. I just disappeared, and I bet I won't be exactly punctual in my uploading, especially in my visual work uploading, now that I decided to re-appear.
If you have any preference regarding what I could upload in my writing account, drop me a line. There is work from the dopowrimo, work from every month since then; even some weird short prose pieces.
I've also been writing a kind of fairytale. It's a little surreal, and I don't think it can easily be accused of being too serious.
I think that my early readings of Eugene Trivizas's fantastic stories are sneaking up on me. It progresses slowly, due to the massive amount of design and written work [two D&AD briefs, one live brief, my independent brief and quite a few essays; they're out of mind this year] I have for my last year in University, but I promise I won't abandon it. This I will not upload anytime soon, not before it's finished and I've had some time to digest it; I'm quite shy about it, actually.More news. Good news. Life is treating me exceptionally. Things are not only restored to their previous glory, they're a whole lot better than they were before. Guess who's making me happy... and it does seem like it is for good this time.
I spent the first semester of this academic year in Holland, in The Hague, with ~themonosandal. Beautiful months. Months painted with all the colours of the world and sprinkled with the finest music. Months bathed in light...I returned to England on the 20th of January, and resumed my degree course shortly after. Last year, last semester - this is the end of the line. I - we - did visit Greece for Christmas and New Years Eve, we split the days between Athens and Thessaloniki [Athens got the biggest piece of the cake]. Now that I mentioned cake, I even won the lucky coin in New Year's cake [yes, vasilopita]. It's all bright and warm and soft [err, not the cake], but also strong, and full of songs and whispers about hammocks and curtains and Christmas trees and a pair of eyes fixed enough in mine to call home...
I do hope I haven't made you sick with my sugar and spice and all things nice. I'll tell you some bits that aren't all that shiny as well to make it up to you. My loser of a flatmate has been stealing for what was supplies enough to last for ten days. He actually ate everything that I had in my freezer, and then told me that he has no job or money, and that he'll buy what he owes when and if he borrows money from someone. The thing is, I'm running on a very, very low budget this semester, and this month is the worst of all. This doesn't usually upset me, I'm excellent at organizing everything and surviving with very little. I had 50p in my wallet, and food enough for one meal per day and a bite of breakfast until the 16th [which is first day of my financial months]. Now I have food enough for four days, and a landlord who is willing to lend me a few pounds, thank God.
The flatmate issue is nothing, though, it's just an annoying pebble in my shoe. I feel exhilarated with what I have; gratitude escapes through my every pore towards what's out there.
I do miss him now that I'm in England, but in the good, uni-work-doing, skype-talking, Buffy-watching, exercising, going-out-for-walks, writing-dA-journals and cooking kind of way; not at all in the idle, depressed and insecure kind of way. I'm travelling to Holland in 15 days, staying for 9. Then I'll travel again on the 13th of March and stay for all [Western] Easter holidays and block study week [spring break]. And then university will be over, and I'll move there.
I definitely wish you all the best of luck, my luck [just without the nasty flatmates and the low-on-cash issue].
.Travellers.
[
- *Rikochet - =lordceleborn - ~Rhapsody88 - ~Bluthan - ~ianos7 - ~Homocentric - *Sub3r3 - ~Mortuelle - ~kosmik-kyber - ~sebastardian - =Robsonnet - ~zebrazebrazebra - ~saturnineguise - ~boundlessgravity - ~manchaliaina ]~
[Sola fide.]
As a child in your arms, I wish for more wishes.
Journal Entry: Sun Jul 29, 2007, 8:21 AM- Mood: Sweet
- Listening to: W. Byrd - Mass for three voices
- Reading: Fragments of universal truth, here and there.
- Watching: The Tudors
- Playing: Oh, yes.
- Eating: Yes, please.
- Drinking: Tea.
[This journal's title is a line from one of ~saturnineguise's beautiful poems.]
I was PoWriMoing, and it's now over. I've done it before, and I ended up with thirty-five poems in thirty days while I aimed for one per day. This time, I aimed for two per day. I've written lots of different things [that's what PoWriMo does to you]: unblocked Atalantean stuff, blocked Atalantean stuff, some noir, some pure surrealism, some weird hybrids. I'm happy with all that. I ended up with fifty-four poems instead of sixty, technically, but I have notes for more than six more in my mind and notebook.
Oh, and something else: what lead to all the poetry from "The words that survived" [My "She hath no loyal Knight and true" journal, for those that don't watch my poetry account (due to not speaking Greek or other reasons)] to "The unbearable" has become undone; it's been a month, or more than a month. You [poetry watchers] have probably noticed that already, with "The edges of the exile's song", and the poetry after that - the poetry during and after the trip to the Hague. I mean, the trip to the Hague alone is shouting, anyway, and I've just restored the "Atalante et Orpheus" photograph in my gallery. The complete restoration came gradually; it took some time. But it's done, I believe. And it means that truth dies hard, or is immortal, even (!); it means there are chances for cats, dogs, no more creepy third portraits, lots of light and even fairy-tales - given time. And now I hope - that's what I do. I hope. Fingers crossed. Off and up we go, my roller coaster; we have some gratitude to express, we have a sky [and a guy, in a way] to thank.
Known plans for the rest of the summer:
[29/7/2007 update]
25/7/2007 - 1/8/2007: Crete, Greece
1/8/2007 - 2/8/2007: Thessaloniki, Greece
2/8/2007 - 7/8/2007: Chalkidiki, Greece
[I'll inform you about the rest when they're set in stone.]
.Travellers.
[ ~themonosandal - *Rikochet - *lordceleborn - =Rhapsody88 - ~bunnydee - ~Bluthan - ~ianos7 - ~kosmik-kyber - ~LordRaistlin - ~saturnineguise - ~zebrazebrazebra - *Sub3r3 - ~sebastardian - ~Mortuelle ]
~
[Sola fide.]
Location, location, location.
Journal Entry: Wed May 30, 2007, 11:55 PM- Mood:
Hope - Listening to: Le Siècle de l'Ars Nova.
- Reading: J. L. Borges.
- Watching: Demetri Martin.
- Playing: Oh, yes.
- Eating: Breakfast.
- Drinking: Tea.
Known plans for the summer:
31/5/2007 - 5/6/2007: Athens, Greece
5/6/2007 - 16/6/2007: The Hague, The Netherlands
[I'll inform you about the rest when they're set in stone.]
"I must have died a thousand times; the next day, I was still alive."
[Pulp - Death II]
[link]
[link]
~
.Travellers.
[ =lordceleborn - ~themonosandal - =Rhapsody88 - ~Rikochet - ~bunnydee - ~Bluthan - ~ianos7 - ~kosmik-kyber - ~LordRaistlin - ~saturnineguise - ~zebrazebrazebra - *Sub3r3 - ~sebastardian - ~Mortuelle ]
~
[Sola fide.]
Only forever?
Journal Entry: Sun May 13, 2007, 7:00 AM- Mood:
Content - Listening to: H. Schütz - Singet dem Herrn ein neues Lied
- Reading: J. L. Borges
- Watching: Lost, Heroes, Prison Break.
- Playing: Yep. I came into play again.
- Eating: Butter croissant, cheese, turkey ham.
- Drinking: Earl Grey
In simple, simple words:
I... I survived, of course. That's what I do best, right? You know, my 'Queen of Loss' title is not exactly a fun thing. It's the [damn] story of my life, but at least it gives me a crown; a tiara, to be more specific.
I miss a lot of things and a lot of people.
Sometimes I miss the old version of myself, but this new one is a lot better, I know. I miss him, of course. I miss sleeping in someone's arms, engulfed in light and warm safety. I miss standing next to someone, high on pride, drunk on companionship, unable to take that silly smile off my face. I miss making plans, picking furniture and linen at IKEA [it's a couple/triad/relationship place, IKEA, it's not for singles, let me tell you], I miss attending his concerts and trying not to yell "He's my boy, my boy is the one who's singing/playing up there, he loves me!" and other sappy stuff like that. I miss breakfast in bed, I miss making tea for two in the morning, I miss his clothes softener, I miss the house-with-the-light, I miss the white light [the light that scared him because he thought he couldn't see it - but it was there for both of us], I miss the morning light; it needs more effort to see it right now, but I manage. That's what I do best, yeah, that's what I do best... I miss blind trust, I miss giving it all, free-falling, I miss seeing his wings, I miss having the right to adore him [I can't give myself this right now, maybe later; I needed to survive, you know, I blocked what I could]. I miss my friends and my more-than-friends [what a remarkably stupid phrase, for friends they are], but I'll see them soon. I'm glad I realized how important true friends of all kinds are. Hey, you up there, there must have been a less painful way to teach me that [and the other things I've learnt through this hell]! Oh well, I love you and your world anyway.
I even miss Londo, my laptop. My data, to be precise. It got stolen along with the Holy Grail [my external hard disk full of early music], along with all my uni work for this semester [which was part of the data I just mentioned]. I miss the letter I wrote to a good friend during a flight from Thessaloniki to London, it was in the bag as well. I miss my plastic blue railcard card case thingie because I miss the photos I had inside. I don't really miss my money and my cards, though. It's ok.
So I lost it all - 2007 took it all; my perfect relationship, my semester in uni, and most of my belongings. Five months of loss and accumulation of wisdom. On the other hand, kisses are a far better fate than wisdom; E. E. Cummings had it right. But it's ok. I make do with what I have. Let it be wisdom. If I can't live the life that I wished to live, I'll live the best life that I can have; and I'll do it right, and right now, and I'll breathe colours, and I'll smile. Some people don't have the right to complain, because they decided so. I am one of them.
"I must have died a thousand times; the next day, I was still alive."
[Pulp - Death II]
[link]
[link]
~
.Travellers.
[ *lordceleborn - ~themonosandal - =Rhapsody88 - ~Rikochet - ~bunnydee - ~Bluthan - ~ianos7 - ~kosmik-kyber - ~LordRaistlin - ~saturnineguise - ~zebrazebrazebra - *Sub3r3 - ~sebastardian - ~Mortuelle ]
~
[Sola fide.]
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